There’s a song that’s been playing in my head lately, not just as background music, but as a declaration. A battle cry. A truth spoken into the darkness.
“It’s Not My Time” by 3 Doors Down.
If you’ve followed my journey, you know resilience isn’t just a theme for me—it’s the story written into my soul. Multiple cancer diagnoses didn’t just test me; they gave me a voice. They gave me a reason to write again, to podcast, to share what I learned in the valley when I thought the darkness might win.
Resilience isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the audacity to say “not yet” when everything around you whispers “it’s over.”
When It Becomes Personal
The song became more relevant this year after Brad Arnold (the lead singer and founding member of 3 Doors Down), shared his diagnosis of stage 4 kidney cancer that spread to his lungs. In his announcement, he said something deeply meaningful:
“Now, I believe ‘IT’S NOT MY TIME’ is really my song.”
The man who wrote those words years ago is now living them in the most visceral way possible. And he’s doing it with the same spirit that makes this song so powerful…with faith, without fear, refusing to surrender to the diagnosis. His courage is an anchor for all of us.
For those of us who’ve faced any battle that attempts to define us by a diagnosis, the lyrics acknowledge the reality and declares that victory is possible. This song simply refuses to let darkness have the final word.
Proof of Life: Joy and Gratitude
This year also brought moments that proved why we keep going. One of the greatest joys for us was going to several live concerts. Standing in a crowd, feeling the bass reverberate, surrounded by music, energy, and connection; it felt healing in a way that’s hard to describe.
Music isn’t just entertainment for those of us who’ve been through the fire; it’s proof that we’re still here, still feeling, still experiencing pure joy and pure life.
As I look back, gratitude is the thread that ties everything together. I am deeply thankful for:
- Time — the kind I no longer take for granted.
- Resilience — built through challenges I never asked for, yet grew from.
- Creativity — the outlet of writing, podcasting, and sharing stories that matter.
- Joyful Moments — like dancing and singing along at the top of my lungs at concerts.
- Patience — still a work in progress, but I’m getting better at it! 🙂
The Strength of Community
This gratefulness also extends to all the people who provide support. A lot of credit goes to friends and family; especially my husband, who has been my constant through everything ~ every diagnosis and every uncertain moment. I’ve learned that there’s a beautiful reciprocity in showing up for others: when you support those who need it, they lift you up as well.
Brad Arnold said he has “no fear” and is “sincerely not scared” as he faces his diagnosis. That’s not denial; that’s perspective. It’s the understanding that our worth and purpose aren’t determined by our prognosis.
If you are in the middle of your own battle right now, I want you to know something: It’s not your time.
Not yet. Not today.
You have more chapters to write. More people to impact. More moments to experience. More love to give and receive.
Your resilience matters. And on the days when you can’t find the strength to believe that for yourself, lean on the rest of us who are saying it for you. That’s what community does. That’s what Real Things Living is all about.
Listen and Let It Speak
I’ve included a link to Brad Arnold’s video where he discusses his diagnosis and references this very song. Watch it when you’re ready. Let his courage speak to yours.
A Message From Brad
It’s Not My Time (official video)
Because sometimes we need to hear someone else say, “I’m scared, but I’m not giving up” before we can say it ourselves.
Stay resilient,
Brigitte
Real Things Living podcast is where we explore the messy, beautiful reality of resilience.
