If you’ve been following my advocacy journey, you’ve probably noticed a pattern: I keep coming back to two simple words.
Ask Why.
This isn’t a tagline I chose because it sounds catchy. I’ve been doing it my whole life because of curiosity—and curiosity is where critical thinking begins. It’s a skill that doesn’t lose value, doesn’t expire, and never goes out of style.
Every time a doctor rushed through an explanation, or I felt the pressure in any situation to nod along with a plan that didn’t sit right, I asked why. I wasn’t trying to be difficult or confrontational. I just wanted to understand.
Over time, I realized this instinct isn’t just me. This is something almost everyone needs and no one is encouraged to practice. We live in a world that runs on defaults: default appointments, default treatment paths, default trust that someone else has already asked the hard questions on our behalf.
Most of the time, no one has.
That’s the “danger of the default” I talk about now. It’s quiet, not dramatic. It looks like silence in a room where a question should have been asked.
So why do I keep talking about this?
The Core Beliefs Behind the Message
Underneath everything I create – the podcast, speeches, writing, the self-advocacy checklist – here are beliefs I keep returning to:
- Curiosity over compliance. Going along with something isn’t the same as understanding it.
- Don’t accept the default automatically. Defaults aren’t wrong by nature. They just shouldn’t be automatic.
- A pause is a valid choice. Taking a breath before committing is self-respect.
- Questions are a form of self-advocacy. Asking why is gathering information, not ammunition.
- Nobody knows your values better than you. Expertise informs a decision, but it never replaces your judgment.
- Asking why isn’t confrontation. A question is an invitation to understanding, not an accusation.
- Intentional curiosity leads to informed action. The goal was never to ask more questions, but using what you learn to make choices aligned with your life.
None of these are complicated. None of them are automatic either.
That’s why I tell stories instead of just stating principles, and why I’m building something more practical than a philosophy: the Ask Why Method.
What Method Actually Looks Like
Philosophy without application is just advice. So the Ask Why Method breaks intentional curiosity down into three practical phases you can bring into any decision:
- Preparation (The Pause)Before stepping into an appointment or decision, clarify your top priority. What do you need out of this interaction? Taking a breath before you react creates space to evaluate options.
- Core Questions (The Engagement)Moving from passive listening to active dialogue. This means asking clear, constructive questions like:
- “What are the alternative options?”
- “What happens if we take a wait-and-see approach?”
- “How does this align with my specific goals?”
- Action (The Informed Choice)Synthesize expert guidance with your own intuition and priorities. You make a decision because it genuinely feels informed, and not out of pressure or habit.
From Method to Movement
The Method is the practical work.
The Movement is what happens when enough people start using it, that self-advocacy becomes common sense and not an exception.
Every time I share a story—my own or someone else’s—I’m planting a flag for that Movement.
Somewhere right now, someone is about to accept a default they shouldn’t. I want that person to hear this enough times that asking the right question comes naturally for them.
Where have you caught yourself accepting “the default” – in your health, your career, your daily life? What’s one question you need to ask this week?
I’d love to hear where you’re deciding to ask why.
With gratitude,
Brigitte
