All parents go through a transition phase when their children become adults, a process of letting go. Most are thrilled with that new sense of freedom – the parents and definitely the children.
I’m a mom to two sons who are college students and technically men. It’s summer break now and they are home a lot more. There are mixed emotions about this and it’s hard to not give them unsolicited advice. Micromanaging is not a good option and need to remember to listen first and not react with an opinion.
Letting go of your children can seem difficult probably because of the unknown. You want them to be successful yet you know they will encounter failures and make mistakes. That is how we all learn and grow.
There needs to be accountability in everything they do and we can’t always be there. They need to learn about adult-ing … but I still see them as little boys sometimes.
Child-rearing consumes our time, energy, love and concern. You spend basically two decades raising and nurturing them; and that investment includes your heart, mind, and spirit. The struggle is trying to find that balance of love and concern for your adult children while resisting that impulse of control.
What are we actually letting go of? We’re letting go of “unsolicited advice” and coming across as judgmental. We’re letting go of unnecessary “worrying” because we’re wired to naturally protect our kids. And we’re letting go of “control.” It needs to be about love and acceptance now.
Being a parent sometimes is very hard yet there are no regrets from me and wouldn’t change a thing. We’re nurturing our relationship with the boys in a different and positive way now.
My youngest asked me to run with him this morning because he knows I enjoy it. At first I hesitated because it would have conflicted with the beginning of an online meeting. How many times has he asked me to run with him? Very rare. So of course I went. He actually was okay running with me. In public!
Every morning you wake up is a gift and we will treasure this summer together in the home they grew up in. No matter how much messiness they leave behind.