How to Be Perfec…t

I’m guilty sometimes of letting the pursuit of perfection hold me back.

I recently read a fantastic book, How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question, written by Michael Schur. He’s also the creator of the TV Series The Good Place

The Good Place is a fantasy-comedy about where humans are sent afterlife. It’s based on the morality of conduct on Earth using a numerical score. If you don’t score high enough, you’ll be sent to The Bad Place.

The main character was sent to The Good Place by accident. A mathematical error!

Michael weaves in a lot of humor and philosophy that resonates with me. It’s about the habits you embrace throughout life and how you choose to react to situations.

As children, we are handed a “starter kit” on how to be a good human and to navigate the world. Through habits, we learn about virtues like honesty, empathy, and integrity. But somewhere along the way, we realize that being perfect isn’t about checking off boxes on a list; it’s about embracing our humanity, flaws and all.

Happiness, or what philosophers call flourishing, is often the key ingredient that brings out the best in us. When we’re content and fulfilled, we tend to radiate kindness, thoughtfulness, and humor effortlessly.

Happiness is not the same as pleasure though. Pleasure brings momentary satisfaction.

True happiness—the kind that helps us flourish—is rooted in our virtues. It’s about finding fulfillment in meaningful connections, doing something that matters, and in making a positive impact on the world around us.

I laughed at a “flourishing” example used in the book:

  • How runners get the “runner’s high” which is a state of euphoria at the end ~ they are truly happy after accomplishing a run through hard work. And running is something that matters to them. (This sounds like me.)  
  • The author then states that runners are liars because there is nothing enjoyable about running. You shouldn’t run unless a bear is chasing you. 😂 
  • But he then kindly admits that flourishing moments in life is basically similar to the runner’s high

We all have our moments of weakness, lapses in judgment, and embarrassing instances. But it’s in those moments of imperfection that we often find our true selves. 

Because in the end, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being perfectly imperfect, and that’s pretty darn close to perfect in my book.

How do you embrace imperfections in your journey?


Jarie Bolander shares his experience of being a caregiver for his late wife, highlighting the challenges, emotions and societal expectations of men. 

  • the importance of more openness and compassion, respect
  • respect and owning the narrative as men
  • the need for intellectual honesty and debate in society

Watch the episode, Men Who Care: Breaking Stereotypes with Jarie Bolander, on YouTube or listen on your favorite podcast platform. 


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